#UnansweredHipHopQuestions was trending on Twitter yesterday, and was totally amazing (see our favorites below). It consisted of addressing the many important puzzles hip hop artists left unsolved in their lyrics, like what will happen if we disobey Kanye’s orders and we do, in fact, let him get in his zone? But this made us think, what about the questions hip hop asked of us, that we never answered? These questions may have seemed rhetorical at the time, but were they really?
When Claudette Ortiz of City High asked us, “What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor cause he’s hungry?” she probably could have used an answer there. Sounds like she was having a pretty hard time.
Or when Craig David asked us “What’s your flava?” we thought about it for a while like, yeah, what IS our flavor? And then never got back to him. Ouch. What about when T-Pain just wanted to buy us that drank, Ludacris wanted to know how he could fulfill our fantasies, or Cam’ron just wanted to know what meant to world to us?
The Baja Men and DMX were just looking for their dogs, effectively using songs as WANTED and MISSING ads, and we couldn’t have just looked around for a little?
DMX also really needed directions to the hood, and we couldn’t even have been bothered to google maps it for him? Or when Ice Cube was having a good day and just wanted to know where we were playing basketball, we couldn’t have texted him letting him know? We totally snubbed A Tribe Called Quest when they wanted to know if they could kick it.
What about when Aloe Blacc needed a dollar? Or when Jay-Z wanted to know if he could get a what what or a woop woop? And all R. Kelly wanted was a toot toot, or at the very least a beep beep?
When Murphy Lee just wanted to know what da hook was gon be, and Jibbs was wondering if our chain was hanging a little lower than usual?
And of course there was that time when Fat Joe and Ashanti were asking us deep meaning-of-life questions, like what’s luv got to do with it? And in the same vein the the Beastie Boys wanted to know wha wha wha wha what’s it all about? Maybe we just didn’t know the answer to those questions at the time. Frankly, I still don’t.
And how could we forget that time when J Lo wanted to know if her situation was humorous, or when The Black Eyed Peas were curious about what we were going to do with all that junk (yard sale?).
At the very least we could have answered Digital Underground when they asked us hey fat girl, are you ticklish?
Something to think about.
READER CHALLENGE: ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS.
And now for our 10 favorite Twitter #UnansweredHipHopQuestions:
Did Ms. Jackson ever accept Andre 3000’s apology?
Did Miley Cyrus hit up Mack Maine 3 years later?
Did anybody meet Young Joc at the mall before it went down?
When Eminem was cleaning out his closet, did he find Frank Ocean (or R. Kelly)?
Did anyone ever tell E-40 when to go?
What medical school did Dr. Dre go to again?
Was 50 Cent’s candy shop really profitable in this economy?
Did Khia ever go to a chiropractor for her neck and back problems?
What app allowed Rick Ross to sell dope straight from his iPhone?
Was the fire department called when Usher just let it burn?